You Will be Missed

Tomorrow is going to be a dreadful day. We are putting my dog down. Sara has been around since I was 7, back in 1996. She is 15 years old now.
Things have been bad for her and we all knew it. She has had trouble walking, standing, laying down.. She can't go up the stairs any more because she falls. She has lost a lot of control over her bladder and bowel movements, to the frustration of my mother. I just feel like she is suffering. We can tell she isn't eating as much anymore. You can basically see her spine. Her hips are so thin. I remember when we worried that she was too fat!! Now, we worry she is too thin and not eating
It breaks my heart to know that this time tomorrow, Sara will be gone.
She will be in doggy heaven, hopefully being able to chase after rabbits.

I have a lot of memories with Sara and I want to share a few:

My grandpa got Sara from a kennel in WV and was my present after a terrible bike accident that resulted in plastic surgery for me. I remember the day I got her, she came in my bedroom with my grandparents and I thought she was a pitbull! She came with my aunt's dog so I thought she was my aunt's friend's dog but nope, she was mine!

When she was little, she would crawl under my bed and eat little pieces of my barbie doll stuff and littlest pet shop. Not a great thing when it was happening, but now I look back and smile..

She used to sleep with me every night. My mom said she would come in the room and I was basically spooning with her and we had the covers up to our necks. All she woud see is Sara's head.

I think one of the funniest, yet gross things... One night I came home and like always, Sara had ran away. Sara is an escape artist. Anyway, she is on the sidewalk by our porch so I walk up the stairs and towards the porch and see something in her mouth. She had a dead rabbit in her mouth, she was bouncing, pancing and wagging her tail - so proud of herself and wanting to bring it inside!! I freaked out and called my mom on the phone to make her come home.
And, to top it off, there was no blood on the poor little rabbit, rest its soul.. Sara is very gentle with the creatures she befriends. She just wants to play so she throws them in the air and tries to catch them or lets them drop. She broke its neck! But, she did it trying to be nice!
She has done this to many unsuspecting creatures who she tried to befriend.

She has always been a trashdigger! She still is! We think she is blind, almost, but she can find that trash can and take everything out!

She is also a hole digger. When we got our middle dog (we have 3) Addy, she was a baby.. One day, I look outside. They both were in the yard and Sara was digging. Addy was watching her closely. 10 minutes later, I look outside and they are digging together! That darn dog taught her how to dig!

I have so many good memories with her and I think tonight I am going to focus on my funny memories of my friend, my loyal companion. I am glad that Caelyn got to meet her even though she won't remember it. I am glad Sara got to see Caelyn. It is amazing how these creatures become more than an animal; they become a part, a beloved part, of our family. She will be missed.
Tonight, my mom took her for a walk, as long as Sara was able to walk. She ate all kinds of yummy things and we made a clay imprint of her paw to frame. It was a nice last night for a wonderful dog.
I pray that I have strength tomorrow to be strong for her. I know that dogs are so intune with humans and I know that if I am upset, stressed, etc she will pick up and feel the same. I want her to be relaxed and peaceful. Ugh. I am going to go sob for awhile!