Tuesday, July 13, 2010

A Bitter Day

Well, my buddy, my baby (my first baby), Sara, is gone. I have never experienced something like this before; it was gut-wrenching.
My mother and I went together. I am glad that I went, so is my mother. She crumbled more than I did but, I think that I mourned so much yesterday that I was almost out of tears. I was numb but also, I had prayed to God to give me strength and He most definitely did so. I was strong for my mother who was sobbing uncontrollably.
The drive out there was... bleak. We knew what was going to happen. She didn't really want to go in the building.
The vet did give us the peace of mind that she was not well or healthy and looked very sick. My mother was so worried that it wasn't her time yet and that we were not meant to put her down. He gave us the option to be with her or for them to do it and bring her back to us. I chose to stay with her. I didn't want her to be scared and if someone I didn't know led me away with my family crying behind me, I knew I would be scared. So, they sedated her.
She let out the biggest yawn I've ever seen and it was almost like she was saying.. I'm tired and it is time. Once she was sedated, the doctor told us that within 10 heartbeats she would be gone. He gave her the shot and within maybe 2-3 seconds, she was gone. She looked so peaceful. My mom bawled and kept saying "it'll be ok baby" "I'm sorry baby." She loves Sara as much as I do. We hugged and kissed her and left.
The vet had said that sometimes they twitch afterwards and I knew neither of us could stay to see that.
We hugged in the office.
We left together and cried on the way home.
But, I know it was the right thing to do. I believe she was in pain and now, she is in Heaven - because I believe God brings His animals there too - with the other dogs that our family as a whole has lost, chasing rabbits and cats. She is no longer in pain; her legs are no longer weak and she can run again. That dog could run like the wind beside a driving car.
It was a rough day with tears..

The worse part?
Today, July 13th, is my parents anniversary. What a thing to have to do on a couple's anniversary.
To my parents - you are an inspiration to me. Your strength together as a couple inspires me to have a marriage with Robert like yours. In a day and age with couples divorce within a few years, you still kiss goodbye and say I love you. I hope to see you two twenty years from now still kissing goodbye. I love you both.


  1. Thinking about you, I am sorry. It is very hard to lose a pet you love. I am sure your dog had a good life, by the sounds of how much you care.

    Someone sent this to me, it is very cute:

    Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

    When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
    There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
    There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

    All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
    The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

    They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

    You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

    Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

    Author unknown...

  2. I'm so sorry to hear about your beloved pet. I hope that in time you can think of her with the fondness you felt for her and not the terrible sadness you feel when you first lose a pet. Time does heal.