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Friday, August 6, 2010

Advice to New Moms

You know, lately I have been thinking (ok I really do this a lot) and I realize that.. When I was pregnant and when I first had my lovebug, I received SO much advice that it was ridiculous! A lot of it was bull, but some of it was pretty decent, but there is one that I REALLY want to tell you about because it makes me so angry and here it is..

DON'T HOLD YOUR BABY TOO MUCH OR THEY WILL GET SPOILED!

With this little piece of advice, I CALL BULLSHIT. How often do I curse on my blog? Never really so you know that I really feel passionate about this.
I hear it even now when I wear Caelyn in the Ergo, or a sling, or our wrap. I heard it so much when I first had Caelyn that I wanted to pull my hair out and here is why..

Your baby has spent 40 weeks cuddled inside of your warm, cozy womb, then they are birthed into this HUGE, WIDE OPEN, not so cozy, world and they are out of sorts. Thats why I believe swaddling in the beginning is so important because it mimicks the womb and truly will comfort your brand new bundle of joy. So.. if I listen to this lovely piece of advice, it is ok to leave my baby laying in the crib or pack n play all by themselves in this big wide cold crib with no love? Please.

I received a brand new wrap lately from BBslen and I am going to quote what their booklet says on this matter and I think that it will really hit home and prove my point so much better than I can articulate.

"Will I spil my baby and make him dependent on me?
Imagine you are thirsty. Sometimes you are given a glass of water and sometimes you are not. Your thirst is not quenched. You are forced to wait until the next time someone else decides you can have a glass of water. You become increasingly nervous and frustrated. You begin to constantly ask for water, even when you are not thirsty, because you are not sure that when you will be thirsty, you will be given some water. You become insecure when you do not have water available. You are so preoccupied with having enough water that you are unable to think about anything else.
Now imagine the opposite scenario. You are thirsty. You are immediately given water, however much you need to quench your thirst. You are satisfied and can go on about whatever you were doing without worry. You are reassured because the water is abundant supply and you can have some whenever you need it. You feel secure in this knowledge and the physical presence of the water is not always necessary. You are worry free and can put your energy into other activities.
Now, imagine these two scenarios with your baby and his need for close physical contact and reassurance.
You decide."
This is so beyond powerful for me because I can visualize this. We all too often see little kids who are not fed very often and they hoard food whenever and wherever they can in fear that they will not have food to eat. Its heartbreaking.
My daughter is NOT dependent on me but we sure do love to cuddle.
She has started to raise her arms up to me when she wants to be held, but more often than not, she actually pushes away from me with her hands or feet because she wants to play. But everytime, she reaches up for me, or if I am near and she grabs at me or tries to get on me.. or whatever, I indulge her. I cuddle, kiss, and just love on her until she pushes me away or until we both are laughing hysterically.
I guess it is just me, but my heart goes out to babies that parents really believe this bull and who do not hold them very often.
You don't need to babywear like I do in order to hold your child frequently. Kissing, hugging, and holding close as much as possible does the same thing. Caelyn loves when I put her into a carrier. My mom constantly tells me that she must not like it. But I say, when babies do not like something, what do they do? They fuss, they cry, they scream whatever it is. She almost never does so. We both love the cuddles it gives us and it also puts her up at a higher eyelevel and she is able to see so much more. She is fascinated with the world around her and what better position for her to see than on Mommy?
I realize all parents.. parent differently and that is fine! But, I hear this so much and it frustrates me more than I can explain and I just had to say my part.. and I had to show what I believe and also.. to maybe make future mothers think.. and to maybe make current mothers who have a baby or are expecting another hold and kiss their babies more or to know a good comeback for those who tell us this line of crap!

2 comments:

  1. I agree. Can't spoil a baby. We don't (frequently) babywear, but in the beginning - we did, a good bit. Grace has always been a bit more independent, but as she's growing up, I am needing to keep HER close - both emotionally and mentally.
    Keep em close while you can!

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