Wednesday, August 31, 2011


I started school... again! It is my last year at Franciscan University. I graduated May 2012 and I can do this.

I need to often remind myself that I can do this because my classes are not easy this semester and I think I might die from the amount of typing I will be doing... Or at least I will lose my fingertips.

Sounds fun right?

I am just ready to be finished. This is my 5th, yes 5th, year at Franciscan and I just feel defeated sometimes because I didn't graduate on time. Sometimes I wonder why I am doing this at all because my goal is not to teach, but to stay at home and raise my children. I believe God calls me to that. Sure, I want to teach, but I want to teach my children first, then children that are not mine. I feel in my heart that is what I am supposed to do with my life. If I have the choice, I will homeschool my children so I am often faced with... why are you in school? Why are you so in debt for an education you won't be using for awhile? And sometimes, I don't know that answer.

I am tired of hearing people say that being a SAHM is something that won't happen. Why? In a year if Andrew stays at this job and is no longer considered an extra, he can have overtime every and he will make a lot more money. Or, if he gets a firefighting job, he will be making more money. We know how to stretch a dollar and how to live on a budget. I will do so in order to stay home with my children because I believe it is so important.
I am tired of dreading having to tell people that I want to be a SAHM because somehow, in today's society, it is looked down upon. Somehow, in the span of the last few decades, a person's worth is judged by their income and job status rather than their character and the type of person they are. It is repulsive to me. Our children are our future and there is nothing wrong with wanting to stay home and raise those children.

I, thankfully, am at a school that a lot of women attend and were homeschooled and had SAHMs. They understand my feelings and share the same desires as I. We are receiving an education because of our love for learning and because it will better us as a human being.

I can do this. I have a year left and I will do good.

Or, lets hope I will!

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